So many of the recent posts have been about Ethan. Ellie's turn has come. Trying to capture who she is in a few words in blog is impossible, but I would like to try.
Ellie, at 11 1/2, is on the cusp of becoming a young woman. She is standing at the bridge, crossing over from being a little girl to being a wonderful young woman. Some days she tests the waters, taking on responsibilities that she would have shunned just a few months ago. Other times she is still flitting around, afraid to go into the basement alone or having a fit. At times I almost think I could see the change if I could just stand and watch her for long enough. She simply does not stay put long enough for that. I see her being thoughtful, solving problems and taking charge, leading. I see how she tries to be patient with her younger, more squirrely friends, remembering what it was like to be that age. I see her personal strength, physically and emotionally. I see her stubborn nature easing into personal resolve that will help her meet her goals and find success in endeavors that are important to her. I see how she can be empathic. I also see how she can try and make things go her way.
Sometimes life gets in the way of the plan I have and the time I wish we had to fulfill them. So often she has an idea or plan and I have work to do. Other times I have set time aside for the two of us only to find that she already has other things in the works. It seems that life is just flying by. I try to capture it, like a bird trying to fly away, and enjoy it before it is gone. We have so many young people in our lives who have recently become adults and embarked on their own journeys. They remind me how fleeting our time is. Much of what I feel is summed up in "Slipping Through My Fingers" by Abba. (Sometimes I get teary eyed when I listen to it)
Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see whats in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when shes gone theres that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I cant deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see whats in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers...
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...
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