Stymied and Frustrated

Today I am off kilter; I hate feeling this way.

At the beginning of break I plan out my week in my head. I know that much of the time off will be spent getting ready for, then enjoying, then cleaning up from Thanksgiving. I stack up ideas of what I want to do with my unplanned time after Thanksgiving is done (I do the same thing with Christmas). I create plans, design art projects and wax hopefully about the house being clean, having food already made in the fridge and creative energy to focus. However, as is often the case, it seems that I have put too much pressure on myself and I find myself at a lose; in the end I have little to show for how I actually spent my time.

The beginning of the day was hopeful and full of sunshine. We took Remmie to the dog park in Golden where there were upwards of 7 dogs to play with, chase and have fun with. He was delighted as he ran himself into a frazzle. It is a bit like watching a preschooler at a party. For a while he has his all into the game of fetch or chase. Then, as he grows tired, he stops short of running up the hill and waits for the pack of fur to come whizzing back in his direction where he joins up again. Then he gets to the point where he is so tired that he is just standing in the center, glazed over. That is how I know when we need to go home. He does not resist leaving and then flops gratefully into the back seat. I am pretty sure he was asleep even before we made it to the main street. It was a gloriously sunny fall morning. I am so thankful that we have a fall this year. Often we go from summer to winter, ping ponging back and forth between those seasons for a while before winter takes a firm grip on the wheel.

I had plans for projects. They involved leather, paper, xacto knives and glitter. I had Larr plunk the picnic table in the sunny part of the back yard where the glittering went well. Next, I created a paper mock up of a project that I will make using leather, though I quickly found out that I needed a lot more specific information than I had, so that project came to a screeching halt. I tried to farriet out another idea that will be made from leather, but that too had problems and was put to the side, partly completed.

And so I then found myself at the computer inside on a warm and sunny day, the last one of November, finding that the paper crafting idea had many more complications than I had expected, too.

Lunch had to be made and served, the stuff on the kitchen counter seemed to have multiplied and the towels from the bathroom were still missing. The tiny hand towels that are usually coraled cheerfully had soldiered on to take the place of their missing comrades and so the bathroom looked out of place,disheveled, too.

I was feeling stymied and frustrated so I decided to take myself on an outing. I tried stopping by a place where I need to get special items for a very important project, but the man who owns it was still not available.(I prefer to buy locally, but I may end up with an Amazon purchase instead.) I headed to the holiday market at the Foothills Art Center in Golden for a bit of inspiration and refocusing. I visited with a jewelry maker. I admire some of the projects and took in the wreaths that are up for auction. I left, still feeling frustrated.

I decided to look for a am/fm clock radio that can also play CDs for my mother whose radio is so old that it only plays am. She loves to listen to Christmas music, so I set myself out to remedy that problem. Who knew such a thing could not be found easily. Alas, I will have to seek that out on the web.

I retreated home, tried to pull myself together, failed, made dinner and then listened as my son recounted his day. I snuggled with the dog and read my novel for a while. And I am as yet still frustrated. Time is running out. Perhaps tomorrow will be a more fruitful day. We all return to school/work on Monday so tomorrow will include cooking, cleaning, folding laundry and maybe a bit of crafting. We'll have to see...