Don's Memorial and Visiting Relatives

Don's memorial was on Saturday. It was, hands down, the best memorial I have ever been part of or attended. Don lived a full life and he left behind many stories, many people who were truly bettered for having had him in his/her life. It was clear that one of the driving forces in his life was helping others realize their dream. The memorial was mostly a string of stories about Don's life, mixed in with some singing and a few passages from the bible. It was very well attended, even though a big storm was on its way. Many people sent beautiful arrangements. We served lunch and had a slide show going during the reception.

After the church reception, family and close friends returned to the house. It was full of people, laughter, activity and food. Grandpa Don and Grandma Eleanor would have been very happy. Some people played card games in the basement where they felt close to Don.

There were games and visiting on the main floor, too.

The folks from non-snowy places were happy for the storm. In fact, they had a hard time doing anything other than staring out of the window.

Most of the folks have returned home, or are on their way there. Only Truike and Jan remain. They had hoped to go to Taos, but the storm is preventing that. They are settling for a final tour of what MetroDenver has to offer. It is likely that this is their last trip to Colorado, and maybe even their last trip to the US. Our Dutch family members return to Netherland in a week.

The Navy's Honoring Ceremony & Inurnment of Don's Ashes

Today we held the inurnment ceremony where Don's ashes were added to the slot where Eleanor's ashes are kept. Two men from the Navy also paid their last respects to Don by performing a special ceremony.

One officer played Taps. It is at once both beautiful, peaceful and upsetting to hear the song. Then the men performed a flag folding and presented it to Ethan.

This was an intimate family only ceremony. The funeral director shared the following poem with us as the storm clouds began gathering for the storm that will settle in on us tonight:

"MISS ME BUT LET ME GO"

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little-but not too long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me-but let me go

For this is a journey that we all must take
And each must go alone.
It's all part of the Master's plan
A step on the road to home

When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds
Miss me but let me go.

We met back at home to visit and share stories. We had some nice food and shared a warm meal. We watched more family slides. Most of these images are from the time when they lived in England, in Maiden Head and in Lime Walk. The nice house featured below is "Robin Song," the house they had built in Maiden Head. It looks like it was a glorious place to live.

Tomorrow is the actual memorial. A storm is coming in and it may impact how many people are able to attend.

The Beginning of The Gathering - Doug, Laura, Truike, Jan and Marty

People have begun to arrive for Don's memorial. I find it both comforting and a bit sad that this is how it goes. While it is wonderful to have so many family members gathering, I wish that Don could have been here to be part of it. When Eleanor (my mother-in-law) was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a friend gave me one of the most useful pieces of advice I have ever received. She told me to take time away from work and life to spend special time with Eleanor while she still felt good enough to be herself. And so I did. I took time off work to take a day with Eleanor and each of our kids to have one-on-one time. In the case of Grandpa Don, we had tons of time with him and many of the people who are here now, or coming soon, did see him during his last year. But still, it would have been fun to have a family reunion, even when he was sick.

Still, I've already had fun and I've already cried more.

Doug and Laura arrived on Monday.

Truike and Jan arrived from the Netherlands on Tuesday. Truike had been one of the opares that had helped out Don and Eleanor when Rex and Doug were young. When Don and Eleanor went to meet Truike at the airport for the first time, Truike was carrying the copy of THE MISTS OF AVALON that she was in the middle of reading. Eleanor was reading the same book and their life long friendship began in an instant. Truike refers to them as her "Plastic Family" (Don was a plastics engineer). Truike was closer to them than she was to her own birth parents and so this is hard on them, too. Over the years Don, Eleanor, Doug, Laura, Truike and Jan vacationed together. Jan made films of each vacation. They are dubbed "The Montana Six." I would imagine that this will be the last time we see them in America. If they come again, they would most likely go to Seattle where Doug and Laura live.

Ethan picked up Uncle Marty yesterday. Uncle Marty had been a foreign correspondent for the New York Times in his twenties. He lived in England for a very short while with Don and Eleanor after he left Africa. Marty always tells the most entertaining stories.

Today we will begin packing up some of the stuff that each of the brothers has inherited. We will also get ready for the inurnment (putting Don's ashes in the wall, next to Eleanor's) and the military honoring that goes along with that. Later today more family members will arrive. We will likely have a night of family movies. Truike and Laura are making dinner for everyone.